When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
The Fabric of Success
What makes a bouncy ball so fun?
It bounces back.
What about those ridiculous clowns you punch in the face?
They bounce back too!
Now these are great physical representations of a human characteristic that is admired and occasionally envied.
What I am talking about is resilience the subject of my entry for tonight.
There’s a common opinion I hear, something along the lines of it being easier for young people to bounce back from adversity.
To be fair I am still relatively young to some so my opinion is just that, but from how I see it age should have no difference on your ability to rebound.
Let me elaborate, if you are young it should be easy because you have an abundance of energy and even perhaps a slight ignorance. For the old your resilience only changes it’s source of origin in your case you have the experience of knowing that you have encountered things of this nature before. While hopefully the maturity to know that failure is not in making mistakes but more about letting those mistakes rob you of your peace and self love.
As far as success goes I will not pretend to be the end all resource on what success is, only because that is defined individually just as your sense of morality. Though my humble opinion is of one that believes success is not measured in dollars, material goods, friends, awards, societal contributions or even objectives achieved. My thoughts on success are that of simplicity, do you enjoy your current position in life? Can you sleep easy at night knowing that you are doing your best at living a life true to your values?
If you can wholeheartedly answer yes to both of those questions then you are in my book incredibly successful.
When I look at my life I can definitely say that there are some things I would like to change. Does that mean I don’t enjoy my current position in life? Not at all, it simply means that I am still growing just like most others.
How does that make sense? Honestly it may not always make sense, but through my own experience I have found in life you really only have two options, you can either enjoy the present moment or not. Of course there are some off the wall events you could ask along the lines of physical torture or other radical occurrences, to those questions I can only say stop trying to make things more difficult than they actually are. The word enjoy here is just another word for acceptance and appreciation for you as a person that way you can love yourself enough to know you don’t have to be perfect and there is no “destination” you have to arrive at.
As for the second question about living true to my values? I do my best to live a life of personal accountability, meaning, that I constantly question my own thoughts and feelings about my actions. If there is anything that I do which truly contradicts what I believe then I investigate my motives and adjust my actions accordingly. Most people do this all the time so I don’t particularly see this as a unique skill only one that I actively develop. You see the funny thing about our values is that they are evolving right along us, so our opinion on certain ideas or concepts is subject to change as our life does so frequently.
What does this have to do with resilience?
Great question! If you can learn to enjoy your present moment and admit that you are doing your best to uphold your personal values then those are the key components to self love and forgiveness. Those two ingredients are at the very core of resilience, as I said before it’s not about never making mistakes, it’s more about bouncing back after you do. When you love yourself and can forgive your own humanity then a mistake is just that a mis-take, so take another shot until you get the picture you want.
Let’s recap, success is defined in many ways but the best way to find your own success is through resilience. The foundation of resilience is self love and forgiveness. Self love and forgiveness are centered around allowing yourself to be human and make mistakes.
I’ll wrap this all up with a final question for you to ponder.
If success has varying definitions and resilience is about giving yourself the right to make mistakes, then is your definition of success preventing you from seeing the success that you already are?
Thanks for tuning in and as always you are worth MORE THAN GOLD.
Rebuilding the Foundation
Awfully quiet around here lately……….
I wish I had some amazing adventure that I could say was distracting me, honestly speaking that is not the case.
I must admit I have been avoiding my blog.
Funny thing about running from your problems is that you carry them with you, so when its all said and done you still have those problems and now you are tired.
Well I am tired, worn down, and this emotional exhaustion has even manifested itself into a physical illness within my body.
When I think of the original intent of my blog it was clearly defined as a positive resource for authentic human experience. Designed as a space for others to share their personal insights and anything that they thought would add value to other’s lives.
I had invited quite a few people to join me in this journey, as I decided to traverse the human spirit and redefine worth. It was received with much enthusiasm and initially a few people took me up on the offer. Then over time it became a new a individual creative outlet, one that allowed me to delve into the creative side of my mind with a new medium.
Was I disappointed? A little.
But not for anything other than my ego based sense of rejection saying that I had not done a good enough job.
Now I know that there is quite a bit of error in that thought process as someone else’s desire to participate in my personal journey is not a reflection of anything other than their desire to travel their own path.
What does this have to do with humility?
Well this blog was just one of many things that had “gone wrong” in my life over that last year or so.
I would prefer to not list all of my recent errors but lets just say that if one must fail in order to succeed then I should be well on my way to success lol.
“Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues.”
Perhaps my life was under serious reconstruction and I needed to set a new foundation of humility for my life to build upon. Or am I just a fool hearty youngster whose desire to comprehend the vast greatness of life was expressed through a series of brash decisions? Probably a bit of both.
Regardless the answer here I am, tired, sick and humbled.
Strange enough I am no longer afraid, nor am I bitter, because I know now that my heart is in control as my brain seems to have admitted it has not the ability to “fix” the current situation of my life and only through my sincere humility can I scrape the pieces of my life back together to start rebuilding.
The old expression of practice what you preach is ringing so loudly in my ears that I’ll be deaf to the voice of my ego for an indeterminable duration.
Have I learned my lesson? Not completely for if I did I would no longer need to live in this plane of existence.
So what did I learn?
A bunch of different things, to start I learned that personal desire does not constitute absolute reality, and trying to interpret the divine essence of life through the limited practice of risk taking can really leave one wanting.
Along with those lessons I also learned that because I am good at something does not mean I have to do it nor is it good for me. Judgement is not limited to negative perceptions of others it can include making positive assumptions as well.
Most importantly I learned that despite how much I consciously or unconsciously destroy my life I am always loved.
This is the most humbling thought of all, for all your false senses of security or ego based concepts of independence we all fall down some of us flat on our faces. The only thing that we can do is ask for help and get back to doing what we feel is correct.
So I decided to start here, if only for the sake of clearing the air, a sort of spring cleaning for my soul.
Now don’t worry some of this may sound negative and yes even people like me experience self inflicted pain, but I feel that this is a great way to start the healing process. I mean really what better way to continue the journey into authenticity then by revealing my own humanity to a bunch of “strangers”.
So take what you want from this entry and share it with others if you feel it resonates with you personally. I want to thank you for taking the time to read it, if there is anything you would like to hear my opinion on shoot me an email or just comment on this entry I would love to hear from you.
For now I will leave you with a question to ponder.
If arrogance blinds then what does humility allow us to see?
Thanks for sticking and remember you are all worth MORE THAN GOLD.
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.
If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.
Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Money is like manure, of very little use except it be spread.
Wise men make more opportunities than they find.